Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Raising Jonah

A saturday in the life of Jonah

5:40 am-  Tip toes (right like that's true) into my room to wake me up with a gentle pounce and slight smack somewhere on my body with the remote in his hand.  

"Can I watch Fireman Sam?"   

Since I usually just fell asleep a few hours before this request I'm pretty sure I rarely say no. 

6:45 am-  After the last 45 minutes of a whiny 4 year old's british accent and Jonah repeatedly demanding some milk, Daddy finally agrees to getting Jonah his milk.

 "Can you hold me while I drink it and pick my toes?" 
(I added the picking toes part... he usually does that anyway)

7:15 am- The rest of the average child population starts to get out of bed.  By now, we are too tired to respond to his antics, so Jonah eagerly welcomes fresh tormentees to the new day.

"Wanna play dis witch me so I can frustrate you to no end while I spill the water out of all the tools you are trying to use?" 
(Ok, I added the frustrate part... we all know that's included in the invitation)

8:30 am-  Finishes not eating anything he asked us to cook for him for breakfast and heads outside to recreate the events of Fireman Sam for that day.

"No Mom, I have to take Gator (his lovie) outside today, he's my rest-coo dog, see he's wearing his hat and jacket he is NOT gonna get all dirty." 

9:30 am-  All clothes have been removed in time for his daily strut across the lawn.

"I'm don't need clothes. I'm wearing my naked." 
Direct quote folks... and might I add, I'd want to wear my naked if it looked as cute as this too.

10:00 am-  While we capture him and his crew to get dressed for a birthday party, he conveniently sneaks off with my phone to take approximately 1,348, 370 blurry pictures that I will get to go back and delete one by one from my camera and photostream.  

Don't try to tell me it wasn't you. 

11:30 am-  Inhales the pizza like it was his first meal since the last time he ate pizza. 

1:00 pm-  Back home nursing a post-sugar and carb hangover.

"I am not eating my mocos (boogers). My finger has a boo boo."

1:30 pm-   Tries to convince me it's humanly possibly for a 3 year old who woke up at 5:40 am to not be ready for a nap.

We know this game.  Here's the evidence from the last time he tried to tell us the same thing about 24 hours earlier.

3:00 pm-  Awake from not not sleeping because he told us his eyes would not going to go sleepies.

3:02 pm-  Realizes Samuel isn't still sleeping in his room with him.  Screams from across the house inquiring for his whereabouts, which never doesn't wake up everyone else....

  "Phew!  Dere he is!  Do not put him in your bed for nappies Mom!  He has to sleep in the boy's room."

3:30 pm-  We throw encourage him to go outside with some snacks so we can try to console his prematurely awoken brothers back to sleep. 

Let me guess, you're not picking your nose, your finger has another boo boo? 

3:30 pm and 20 seconds - Daddy hears him throwing objects in our pool....

"Um... I donno... I fink Daddy is angey because I frew rocks in da pooool. Just on accident." 

3:35 pm-  Jonah survives feigning attention to Daddy's pointless lecture for 4 entire minutes.

"Ok. I won't do it one more time."

3:45 pm- Jonah wins.

"Ok Daddy.  How 'bout we can just go swimming and I'll get the rocks for you!" 
throw rocks = go swimming 
Geeeee Bob, why do our kids misbehave? 

5:45 pm-  Worn out into compliance, Jonah eats his dinner willingly and quietly.  Recognizing his rare slip from mischievousness he quickly suggests on account of their good behavior for dinner we go get sta-berry shakes from In and Out.

Ok fine. 
I was the one suggesting the shakes... but you could hardly say he disagreed with me.

7:20 pm-   That's a warp baby.

See you again tomorrow, 5:30 am sharp! 


  1. I would just slowly slide his underwear off while hes drinking his milk.since he likes to be nude,and just have fun with him

  2. He can strut like that in my house all day.and into my. Bed as well