Bed rest

As of this week I am offically on bed rest.  Yup, that's right. 

B-E-D    R-E-S-T

I'm almost 28 weeks, so I'll have 4-6 weeks to figure out exactly what on earth that means for a stay at home mother of 3 young children, namely two active toddler boys. 

Two days into this new adventure I'm realizing what bed rest means to my doctor:

Now let's just see what bed rest really looked like today, shall we?

Well, to be fair, that was just for the morning, by lunch time there was mostly just a lot of this... 

At least I discovered that Sienna is wildly entertained by me drawing on the computer... guess there might be more doodling in our future!

Just Jonah

I just can't get enough of my rambunctious little Jonah these days. He has the power to make me want to pull out my hair and smoother him with kisses all at the same time.

 It's a very confusing feeling for a poor mother to handle!!

He's really starting to come up with his own ideas of the world and repeating everything he hears like a tape recorder. Sometimes he blows us away with his surprisingly, perfectly appropriate delivery of a one-liner he heard on a movie or somewhere else to a random situation.

 Enjoy:

"Jonah, it's time for bed..." - Me
"Save me Gater-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!" -Jonah to his beloved lovey, Gator.


"No Mom, I can't do it, because I've already seen the Dark Side" -Jonah about whatever he doesn't want to do a thousand times a day...


Transcript from a passionately gigglely pre-bedtime sword fight match with Sienna:
"I will defeat you! Drop your sword!" -Sienna to Jonah
"Both of you drop your swords! Go get ready, it's bathtime!" -Daddy to both kids
"Sienna! Drop your undies!" -Jonah to his sister...

("Save that one for college buddy") -Daddy, under his breath to Mommy... I mean really, not that we'd encourage that in college, but it is funny to imagine if he is coming up with that now... we're in trouble...

"Jonah, you have to paint gently with water colors! If you keep pressing so hard you're going to keep pushing right through your paper." -me to my raging artist
"I can't Mom, my muscles are too big." -Jonah

"Jonah, I love you to the moon and back!!  And  I love you faster than the fastest rocket ship ever blasted!!  That's a lot!!"   -me
"Oh great! Thanks!"  -Jonah

You're still my Baby Bashy

Somebody is growing up....

Growing up really fast!

Sebastian is at my favorite age so far (out of the 0-5 I've seen).  That sweet, loving, adorably curious and innocently daring age that I'm finally wise enough to realize does not last long enough.  You go from cute, easy, baby-baby phase where you get to see them grow and develop a lot, but now at this age is when you can practically watch their brains expanding as every single moment is an educational leap and bound!

Right now my barely 'Baby' Bashy is just old enough to interact with us and smart enough to surprise us with his inventive resourcefulness.  And at the same time he is still young enough to innocently stay close to his mommy in public, to gingerly look for permission before venturing into unknown discoveries and still whole heartedly willing, no needing, to snuggle and cuddle plenty of the day.

Or as Daddy so concisely puts it;  he's still too darn cute to get mad at the trouble he just barely knows he's getting into!

Ready or not, today we crossed a major threshold in leaving this precious age...

This afternoon as I sat on my bed hunting for the end of the internet, just thoroughly enjoying my silent, peaceful nap time, I hear the distinct pattering of tiny feet running toward my room.  Before I know it the most adorable, toothy grin of pure pride is peeking over the edge of my bed!

In a giggling effort he quickly climbs onto the footboard and lunges himself onto my bed.  He stammers toward me, barely able to stand from his overwhelming sense of accomplishments until he falls on top of me with the sweetest little-big hug in the whole.

The "snuggle-hug" lasts a quick minute.

Until he's off to grab the ipad laying beside me and demand "ELMO!"

And just like that, he isn't so much of a "Baby" Bashy anymore...


To make sure I got the message he was quick to climb up and actually somehow manage tuck himself under the covers of Jonah's bottom bunk bed while we were kneeling for our prayers.

Um... no... we made that mistake with Sienna when she was his age...  he can keep climbing for a while, we are NOT ready for a big boy bed just yet!

Practically Perfect in Every Way

Naturally, as a stay at home mom my house is usually kept tidy and presentable at all times.

Always energertic and well-rested, I maintain my positive and cheerful disposition with tireless patiences and understanding. 

I eagerly seize every opportunity to actively enrich my kids by playing educational and stimulating games with them in preplanned as well as spontaneous ways.

 

 

Speaking of which, like any well-disciplined and consistent parent, I never resort to bribing children for good behavior to get through a difficult situation. Similarly, I simply do not cave to repeating demands or pleas to buy unnecessary carboard kit toys as a desperate measure to occupy my never wiggly or restless toddler boys on a rainy day.

Eh, who really wants to be perfect anyway??   

 

Today, my poor children should be grateful I held it somewhat together until Daddy got home!  

As Daddy said, I really must have used up all my super power patience and understanding yesterday... But I blame the unexpected rainy day.  It just threw us all off our game!

How was your day?

We're more alike than you think!

Before the sun even came up I knew exactly what was in store for today... my early morning bed visitor was releasing all the cues for a storm a brewin'.  I've had days like today before.  They happen.  I even spotted it in advance like I mentioned, so I was prepared and equipped to dip into my extra stash of bottled up patience to make it through...

My early morning bed visitor, Jonah was also equally equipped with his extra reserve of loud and stubborn to unleash on me today just to make sure I knew who was really more prepared to have their way here.   Before he opened his stubborn little eyes he set his mind on disagreeing with whatever crossed his path no matter what!

"Jonah, can we snuggle for one minute and then would you like me to go downstairs with you and make waffles for breakfast today?"  

"NO!  I don't want to snuggle.  I want to go downstairs now.  I don't want waffles.  I want cereal."  

I've been down this waffle refusing path... when you refuse your favorite breakfast and you're 3 years old it usually means you shouldn't be messed with.   So using my extra patience super power for the day, I didn't correct his demanding tone and instead tried to stay a step ahead by making sure he had his favorite blue bowl to ultimately not eat his cereal out of...

"I don't want the blue bowl. It's dirty.  I don't want to eat today.  These dishes are all dirty."  He screams while dramatically slamming the steamingly CLEAN dishwasher door shut again and storms to off to torture our poor dog with his aggressive climbing/cuddling on top of him.  

Sienna, now downstairs too seizes the moment, like all wise siblings do, to be extra especially good to make sure I notice and appreciate how wonderful she is in comparison.  I see right through it.  I was master of this game. But I'll take it.  Her dramatically sweet "Thank you so much for pouring my milk, Mommy.  I love eating cereal out of any bowl you give me," wasn't unappreciated.  

Bash just quietly continues as his Bashy peaceful self wearing more oatmeal than he consumes, but adorably loving every minute of feeding himself like a big boy. 

Until... Jonah decides Bash is making a huge mess and he must put an end to the disorder!   He stampers up, grabs the oatmeal from under his spoon and holds it high into the air as he scolds his brother for making a mess.  The dog sees his payment for indulging Jonah's wrath and happily cleans the bowl being held directly at canine nose level. 

Crying breaks out all around.   

I swallow my first bite of perfectly milked cereal realizing the rest will likely be soggy and gross by the time I finish damage controlling the situation with my rapidly emptying reserve of early morning patience.

Then, just before I resorted to angry mommy it hit me like a saving grace!

I get it. 

I get them.  

I know how they feel and why they're doing this to me!! 

You see, being pregnant has given me the gift to understand my children better.  Why didn't I realize this before?   

Much like my toddlers, I too have suddenly become a picky, yet impatiently demanding eater.  

In fact, my over indulgence in sweets and foods that will ultimately make me feel much worse rivals any child's! 

Similarly, I also have limited control of my emotions and outbursts.  

My need for sleep and reaction when deprived of it for long periods of time is strikingly paralleled to theirs. 

Come to think of it, I'm also growing out of clothes just as fast as they do too.  I never realized how that must make them feel... just when a shirt becomes your favorite... poof... it's too small!   

It makes so much sense that I joyfully grab my grumpy little man, momentarily forget all about my back hurting and swing him all around the living room.   He is so shocked by this display and no longer seen physical ability that he starts laughing hysterically.   

Bash, always willing to join in laughing starts in too.  Sienna is so confused she starts laughing too. 

Just like a pregnant momma's hormone, our day has gone from downright awful to still a little tiny bit of grumpy, but also a little tiny bit of goofy and a lot of understanding and loving. 

And at the end of the day, just as I suspected, Jonah proved that while he fought it as hard as he could all he really needed was a few more minutes of sleep this morning and our day couldn't been so different.  

But then I would've never gotten this rare moment after dinner of completely relaxed, struggle free, all loving snuggle that ended with dozing off right there in the middle of a restaurant on my shoulder after a gentle whisper saying "I really love you Mommy."

All he needed was a little extra love and some understanding.  

Don't we all on days like today??  

Exploring a doctor visit

From a 5 year old's perspective...

Lately, Sienna's incentive for having good behavior is to go all alone with just Mommy to my OB visits.

She loves this time!  Contrary, to her reaction to the pending arrival of a 3rd brother....

(It took some time, but she's agreed to still love him even though he's a boy)

I thought maybe she liked coming with me so much because she ooooohs and aaaaawes with me over the breath-takingly strong heartbeat and getting to see ultrasounds of her newest brother's cute little hands and his tiny little x-rayed nose.

But, no, I think the real reason is likely not so much related to the baby in my tummy at all... I'm starting to believe that she actually prefers the times when get stuck waiting around in the exam room and I inevitably relinquish free range of iphone playing to keep her entertained.

The self-portrait feature does the trick until the action begins!   

And then she transforms into doctor visit documentary extraordinaire....  

Carefully capturing her pregnant mother under the hot lamp of medical scrutiny over her uncontrolled breeding frenzy rendering a van load of offspring from the same two parents!  

Things start to heat up as the doctor releases trees worth of pamphlets explaining things Mommy hasn't heard since her last 3 pregnancies in 4 years... Sienna preserves the moment as Mommy leans in to politely feign interest in the always dreaded glucose test instructors.

In complete shock that my excitement over this seemingly delicious bottle of juice doesn't match hers she stops to document the subject in question. 

But wait, the doctor is back with the Fetal Doppler and it's time to show off the baby belly again! 

She quickly tosses me the camera and jumps to a sprawl right next to me on the exam table to rival my bulging 26 week tummy with her own tiny belly. 

Ok, maybe we do have a little fun together during these visits while no one is looking :)  

Happy Birthday Little Love Bug

My heart swells with so much love, pride and a tiny bit of ache when I think about our sweet little girl turning five.  Where did all this time go??   I can't imagine what my world will be like when she's all grown up.   How am I going to get used to going to bed without sneaking one last peek at her chubby little cheeks so peacefully squished against her own pillow?  Or what will my mornings be like without her warm little body sneaking into my bed to whisper with her wonderfully awful morning breath "I love you Mommy."

Because birthdays should really be just as much a celebration for the mother as for the birthed, I'm going to treat myself to finally taking the time to write out our birth story.  The birth of me as a mommy and the birth of my very special little girl.

So here it goes my dear Sienna:

I'll start by saying I loved every single minute of being pregnant with you.  I loved how my body changed.  I loved feeling my belly grow and I loved. loved, loved your constant kicking.  I was one of those obnoxious pregnant mommies who delighted in the experience and couldn't relate to the commiserating among fellow moms-to-be.  That has progressively changed now as I'm pregnant with #4 in 5 years, but with you, my very first, even the hardest parts of it was total bliss!

By the time the full Christmas season ended I was a plump Mrs. Claus waiting to meet my special gift from God.  I was slowly starting to feel more and more back pain as the days went on, but for the most part I relaxed, nested and waited for the signs of labor.  I was only 36 weeks and everyone said your first baby comes late....

So when Tuesday afternoon rolled around I was up to my normal routine not expecting anything more.  During my brisk treadmill walk I decided that for dinner that night I just had to have one of the most delicious, greasiest, wonderful-est burgers in Enid, OK that was only available at a total dive bar (You'll learn what that is have a dozen or so more birthdays).  Daddy certainly wasn't a tough sell for the burger, so we headed out to the Pink Flamingo and took the only available "non-smoking" table in the corner of the one room bar.  I felt funny through dinner and decided maybe the greasy burger wasn't the best choice... that had to be what caused the "cramping" I noticed.

I couldn't get to sleep that night and was up chatting on the phone at 11:30 pm when I told my friend Christa that I felt like my water broke a little just then!!  Or did it?   I didn't want to trouble anyone with false labor and I wasn't soaked or anything... Besides, I had a check up visit scheduled for 4:00 the next day, so I figured I'd wait and see if any contractions came.   I went to bed and before I knew it that back pain and cramps just got worse and worse.  By 3:30 am I woke up Daddy and said I thought that maybe I wasn't sick, but actually having contractions, but wasn't totally sure.  We timed them for an hour, but since there were 7-9 minutes apart I figured it probably some sort of Braxton Hicks.  Daddy woke up at 6:00 am and I sent him off to the gym and then work.  When he left I bolted out of bed, took a shower,  ran to the laundry mat, made some chicken for later... the usual things you do when you might be in labor.

By 8:30 am I decided I was pretty uncomfortable and these were probably contractions after all.  They were stronger and more frequent, so I called Daddy at work and said maybe he should head home early just in case, but not to hurry because I had to wait for the laundry to be done and if it was labor it could still be a while.   He came home around 9:30 am and we decided I should go to the hospital and just see what they thought.  But we hadn't packed our bags yet, because I was only 36 weeks.  We quickly packed our bags and stopped by Walgreens to buy a few snacks and travel sized toiletries.

Walking through the aisles of Walgreens I became more sure that I would meet my little girl that day!  I was so excited to hold you that every painful contraction was actually energizing!!   Through the check out line Daddy asked if they had a military discount (like most places in the small military town did).  The clerk said no, so Daddy asked, "How about my wife is in labor in your store right this second discount??"  The poor lady's face went pale and she said quickly said, "What?!!  Why are you here??  Hurry to the hospital so you don't have a baby in a Walgreens!"    Daddy and I laughed and laughed.

We got to the hospital and sure enough I was more than halfway dilated.  They admitted us and we energetically roamed the halls to walk through my contractions.   The staff was shocked that we refused pain medication  Most of the staff including doctors, nurses and anesthesiologists had never seen a natural child birth.  Which couldn't made my first natural labor really difficult, but God sent Mommy a special angel that day.  The nurse assigned to help Mommy was named Laura.  Her husband was in the Air Force with Daddy and they had recently moved to town, but before she came she had started her classes to become a midwife and knew all about natural labor.  God knew Mommy would need lots of help and encouragement for the battle ahead, which is why He sent Laura there to help me!

Daddy and I had never been to birthing classes.  We hadn't read the books on our night stands that were all about childbirth yet.  We hadn't even toured the hospital!  We had no idea what we were getting into.

Laura taught us everything.  She showed Daddy where to rub Mommy's back during a contraction.  She taught us how to position ourselves to help you get ready to come out of my tummy.  She showed me how to breath through the contractions to use them to help my body get ready for you.   When I was in so much pain my body was shaking and I couldn't stop throwing up she squeezed both of my hands tightly together, looked me in the eyes and said "You CAN do this.  You can do this for your baby girl and you will!"

By 2:30 pm I was scared you would never come.  I was so tired and in so much pain that I didn't think I could do it anymore.  I told Daddy I needed an epideral.   I told Laura I was sorry, I tried, but it was too much.  Poor Daddy was ready to do anything to help me.  He was so tired himself!  His arms were sore from massaging me and his body ached from holding me up in different positions.  But when Laura came in she calmly said we were probably in transition, but she would try to see what she could do.

What she really did was trick us just a tiny bit.... As soon as I thought the relief of the epideral was on it's way I relaxed just enough for my body to get ready for your final journey out of my tummy!  It was EXACTLY what I needed and Laura knew it!   When Laura came back she had our doctor, Dr. Ferguson with her and told us she thought it was time for me to start pushing and there wouldn't be time for medication.  I had almost made it.  You were almost here!

Because no one in the hospital had ever seen a natural child birth it seemed like everyone wanted to watch.  The room was so full of people I didn't know what was happening.  We were too unsure of ourselves to ask people to leave. We didn't understand why they were there or that we were even allowed to tell them to leave.  Luckily, God faded everything from my mind but your Daddy, Laura and you!

At 3:25 pm on January 16, 2008 I was ready to push you out!  They told me to "bear down" which was a word I had never heard before.  I tried pushing and pushing like they did on TV, but nothing happened.  Immediately Laura recognized that I didn't understand the doctor's commands, so she showed Daddy how to help me squat and told me not to "push" like you might expect, but how to bear down instead.  With just my first try your head popped right out and two good pushes later you came gracefully out of my tummy at exactly 4:08 pm weighing 6 lbs and 2.8 oz.

Laura quickly laid you on my chest and Daddy and I hugged and kissed you like we would never be able to stop.  I looked at Daddy and saw tears of joy falling down his cheeks.  The first tears I've ever seen him shed and they were for the joy of meeting the most beautiful little girl in the world.  You were perfect!   You had thick dark hair all over your head and 10 perfect little tiny toes.   Daddy got to cut your umbilical cord and help give you your first bath.  He wrapped you up in a pink blanket and brought you back to me to show me your special angel kiss right on your ring finger!!  We knew God gave you a special birth mark on your left ring finger as a promise to help keep you pure and safe forever and ever.

You quickly started nursing and were happy as could be in our arms.  I was absolutely starving and couldn't wait to order dinner!  I don't think I've ever eaten as much food as I did that night.  Daddy and I were so happy and so excited we could hardly sleep.  The three of us stayed awake snuggling all together in our tiny hospital bed, talking to you and telling you all about how perfect the day was.

Laura had already stayed quite late to help you come out of my tummy, so soon after you were born she had to go home and be with her family and her little babies.  She promised to come back and visit the next day even though it was her day off.  Our new nurse came in a few hours after you were born and asked me all about how you were eating and sleeping and if you had a wet diaper yet.  A wet diaper?!   Daddy and I both looked at each other wondering how we were supposed to know?  Didn't the nurses check for that?   We were so excited to hold you and love you and snuggle you up that we forgot all about taking care of you!!  You poor little thing had gone several hours without Mommy or Daddy even thinking about your diaper being wet.  I hadn't even brought diapers to the hospital for you!

I felt silly asking where the diapers were and how often we were supposed to be changing you, but the nurse fought back her smile and showed me exactly what to do.  I had changed a 1000 diapers before yours and I loved taking care of babies so much, who would've thought that my first few hours with my very own baby would be me feeling so silly??!!

All of our friends came to meet you in the hospital!  Even though your grandmas and grandpas and aunts and uncles were far away they all called to welcome you into the world.  On Thursday night a nurse took you to a special baby room next door for a little while Daddy and I were served a fancy steak dinner with a bottle of sparkling cider to celebrate your birth.  The food was actually very good, but we ate it as quickly as could be so you wouldn't be gone for long.  As soon as we finished we called the nurse only to discover you probably never even opened your eyes to notice your little field trip.  You had been sleeping safe and sound in your bassinet the entire time.  All the nurses adored you and had stood around just watching you sleep while we ate and were sad that you didn't even wake up to play yet.

By Friday afternoon they decided it was time for us to go home from the hospital.  Daddy and I bundled you up in so many layers and blankets that we could hardly see your tiny face poking out of the car seat.  It was extremely cold, windy and snowy that time of year, so we hurried you to the car and drove home slower and more carefully than ever before!

When we "finally" got to our little apartment not 5 minutes away we showed you all the rooms and showed you your brand new bed.  I threw away the yucky chicken I had sort of cooked on Wednesday morning and forgotten all about. Then I folded the baskets of laundry I had done in a hurry.  It all seemed so normal and yet so completely different I couldn't describe exactly how I felt.  When I finished I just sat down on the couch and overcome with so much emotion I just started to cry.  Daddy ran into the living room with you in his arms to ask me what was wrong and all I could do was start laughing and crying all at the same time!  Nothing was wrong.  Everything was exactly right, but it was all so strange and new that I simply wasn't sure why I was crying, but I was and couldn't stop!   So there we sat as a brand new family laughing while I kept half crying until it was time for you to eat and go to sleep again.

Every minute of every day for the next five years we've fallen more and more in love with you!  We are mesmerized by every part about you and are so blessed and thankful to be your Mommy and Daddy.  Every morning we wake up delighted to watch you keep growing into the kind, thoughtful and loving young lady we know you will always be.

Happy Birthday Little Love Bug!   

We can't wait to see what adventures these next five years will hold! 

Daddy-isms

For anyone who knows my husband they'll be the first to tell you that he is often misunderstand...

Maybe it's his stoic exterior.

Or perhaps that he often forgets to smile when he jokes or even when he thinks something is funny.

Ok, who am I kidding, I fell in love with full knowledge of his tactless, awkward and blunt-self and even thought every bit of it was all part of what made him right for me.

"Right for me" might be an understatement, because I cannot think of many wives that could handle these gems:

Monday- I made sweet potato fries for dinner, which all three kids and I devour with much gusto... Daddy on the other hand lets me know every time that does NOT care for them.  This particular evening I changed it up a bit by cutting them super thin and using a little tiny dash of cayenne pepper.  Hiding my smirk, I had to tell poor little Bash that he couldn't have any sweet potato fries because Daddy ate the whole batch more than he usually does. To that daddy replies (as he licks his fingers) "yeah, they're not as bad as they usually are."

Wednesday- "I'm tired of everyone being grouchy all the time! I listen to the kids complain all day about anything and nothing and then you come home and I know you're tired, but please just try to smile one time a day and maybe say a least one nice thing to or about me once every few days" -my pregnancy hormones whine at my equally drained husband.... to this he jumps back with "How can you say that?! I compliment you all the time! The other night I just complimented you on your sweet potato fries!!"

Yup, "not as bad as they usually are" is as good as it gets for me from Smooth Operator...

Friday- as Jonah tries to low crawl into his secret hiding place Daddy tells him "Jonah, your bottom is getting really, really big, I don't think you're going to be able to do stuff like that with that thing." Thank God it was Jonah who usually half listens to anything said to him the first two times anyway.

Saturday- We're all exhausted and desperate for the heroic Daddy to get home earlier than expected to make Jonah's boo boo and Mommy's traumatic day all better... We hear the much anticipated car pull in and run to the door to tell him our woes. He skips Jonah completely and takes one look at me and says "ugh, why haven't you put eye make up on all day today?"

Uh, because I didn't have time to worry about that between emergency visits and taking care of a wounded child... Sorry to look "tired" for you Dear!

Good thing he makes for some pretty nice arm candy!

Ok, he also does my floors for me with his shirt off when my sciatica is really bad. Yeah, he's not as heartless as he could be. Wink, wink :)

Another flesh wound

Daddy is off exploring the great outdoors this weekend, so naturally we couldn't have a relaxing, uneventful weekend...

Nope, in fact, Daddy hadn't even been out of the house for a full hour before a distinct, deep and stomach dropping cry rang through the house.

Grandma was staying the night to help me this morning and apparently Jonah was so excited to wake her up that when he tried to climb (likely "jump") on the bed he slipped and hit his eye brow on the metal bed frame base thingy.

My mom brought him into my room likely worse for wear than my tough little soldier. I calmly wiped away his blood and tears, cleaned him with a tiny bit of soapy water and fixed him up with a heavy spread of ointment and his favorite Cars bandaid.

He might not look happy per say, but at least he's not crying anymore!

Plus, I gotta stop and give myself credit here... Calm, relaxed, and quick on her feet, Dr. Pregnant Momma is totally keeping her cookies and has this under control!

Next, I ushered the kids and my mom downstairs for breakfast to quickly get past this bump in our day. I had big plans of running one tiny errand alone to buy Sienna's birthday present while my mom watched the littles and then coming home to pick up the big kids for a super extra special date with just mommy to go see a movie at the theater!  Now this is a big deal, so you know, we can't let a little blood slow us down.

Just before leaving I think to myself "Maybe I'll try a dab of surgical glue and butterfly bandages before we go to be sure it closes up nicely."

Can you tell I've been down this road before?   I totally know what the doctors would say!   I almost went to medical school after all.  Plus, I watch tv shows with doctors doing this stuff.  Sure, I can just handle this at home.  I will not exaggerate the severity of the wound.   Its really no thing, ER is far too dramatic. Yeah, that's right, see, we totally should skip the deadly ER during flu season and not blow this out of proportion.  I can't stand being accused of exaggerating and this will not be one of those times!

Kids are dressed and excited for the movies! Ok, let's go, but really quick I will just check on it one more time and get it all cleaned up with a new bandaid so we can carry on with our special day.

I peel away the bandaid from his sweet golden eyebrows and immediately yell to my mom to load the kids in the car... This definitely needs stitches and I've made my poor baby wait almost four hours with a gaping flesh wound on his face!!!  There's no time for negotiating who gets to go and who stays, we're all about to walk out the door anyway,  hurry, we'll all just go, GET IN THE CAR!!

I'm a terrible pregnant not-doctor momma.  And I'm still not exaggerating.

My whole baby crew, my mom and I get to Urgent Care around 10:40 am, because I still maintain the ER this time of year is basically a guaranteed death wish and I will avoid it until limbs are hanging off.

After what felt like an eternity, but was really just an hour and a half we were finally prepped and ready for repair.

At first the whole crew was in the room but the look on Sienna's and Bash's faces when Jonah got his first anesthetic shot was enough to convince my mom that she should probably leave the room. With tears in her eyes on the way out Sienna said "I don't want Jonah to get stitches, it feels like I'm getting stitches too."

Now that my heart is breaking every which way, my stomach is twisting and my arms are desperately aching to scoop up my sobbing baby boy, all I can think about is how much I want for his little lip to stop quivering and his pain to be taken away.

This isn't my first time with emergency visits and I know it won't be my last. In my mind I know the pain of seeing your babies suffering and having to use all your strength to help pin them down to the cold, scary hospital bed for the doctors to poke, prod and stitch them up are far worse on the mommy than on the child, but somehow that really doesn't change anything at all... I still feel equally as sick every.single.time.

Tired, swollen and hungry we headed home.  The movies will have to wait for another day.  In the meantime, I'll be the first one to join the kids in saying we just hope Daddy hurries home.

From Jonah's first emergency visit two years before almost to the date... I think we'll have to start enforcing safety goggles this time of year.

Back to school

Daily grind here we come!

My little big man of routine and schedule couldn't wait to see Sienna back to school. In fact, he was so excited for it to be mommy and the boys again he has been uncharacteristically friendly to Bash. Beginning with a pouncing greeting into his crib in the wee hours of the morning. Bash, always eager for even a slight glance from Jonah seized the moment with sweet giggles!

Meanwhile, Sienna was also looking forward to her escape from Jonah's forceful affection, er getting back to school. Had she been tall enough to reach the pedals, I'm pretty sure she would've already driven herself to school before the sun came up. Miss independent dressed herself, "did her hair" and got her lunch box out before I even got out of bed...

I think I like this game :)

It's not the very beginning

But it's as good a place as any to start!

12 days shy of 5 years after the birth of our first daughter I am finally coming to terms with reality.  The    reality that I am likely crazy.  The reality that I have planned and chosen to have 3 kids under the age of 5 with one more on the way soon.  And the reality that since I typically don't have enough time alone to go to the bathroom, it's unlikely that I'll find enough time to "catch up" on all the journalling, blogging and memory keeping years I've put at the bottom of my mental to do list for the last 5 years.

It won't be pretty.  It probably won't always be spell-checked.  My pictures will often be from my phone, not from my fancy camera that I insisted would help me be a better scrap booker....   but it will be honest and hopefully much more frequent with the pressure gone to make it just right.

My plan is to start exactly where we are currently from this week forward.  But like most sentimental mommies trying desperately not to let all these exhausting, trying and wonderfully precious little years fly by, I too will hopefully stop, remember and relive some of the sweet memories as they come up too.

So cheers to the New Year and to Mommy's new blog!