Pay back

Just because you aren't quite big enough to beat 'em....

Doesn't mean you can't out smart 'em!

Too bad locking them out of the house probably still won't teach them they're better of just sharing the bikes and scooters with their not-so-baby brother!

Juicing up take 2

We had our second round of performance enhancers last night... 

I must say we muscled through (bawhahaha) like the true mother with child super hero team we are meant to be!   No wild belly button break through attempts were made and I don't think I had a single contraction to report all evening.  

In fact, I slept like a swaddled baby all night long, thank you for asking.  

My tests for preterm labor came back negative... so what were the steroids for?  

Blogging material apparently.  

Ok, fine, peace of mind?  Safety precautions?  Who knows, but I will admit I do feel slightly better every time I realize I am not being very bed resty knowing his lungs will be in shape if I my body accidentally caves a tad early.  I'll never forgive myself though if he seriously does come out looking like a baby hulk.  Just saying.

Roid Rage

This may only come as a surprise to my bed who is likely just as sick of me as I am of him....

Buuuuuuut looks like I over it did it again this week.

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR.

I wasn't shocked either. 

Another significant decrease in length and drop in position (which I honestly did not think was possible!) 

The funniest part is I sat there promising my doctor up and down that I had actually taken it fairly easy this week and it was only until I got home that I remembered our Thursday Thursday show down... oops! The devil is in the details isn't he??  

The bright side to all this is our next baby saving steps allowed this momma to accomplished two major milestones in life in less than 30 seconds! 

1)  I was given my first tushy injection....... left cheek style!   (While more bruising to the ego, may I add that it's actually less painful than being stuck in the upper arm? Meatier on me, you see.) 

2)  I can now say I occasionally take steroids for performance enhancement.   Oooh I hope this doesn't disqualify me for any baby making olympic trials??   Shoot, let's keep this on the DL for now juuust in case... 

I was a little worried about shooting up my first time even for such a worthy cause, so I made sure the nurse was clear that if she messed up the dose and I came back tomorrow looking like Mrs. Hulk with a mustache she'd have some answering do to. 

But what I should have said was if my son came out looking like baby hulk she was going to have some answering to do....   because....    just a few short hours after the injection I am fairly convinced that I experienced the effects of infant roid rage in the womb. 

I don't often pretend to be a doctor, unless it's related to flesh wounds,  but I am pretty good with cause and effect, so imma gonna run with it and draw one possible correlation between my recent performance enhancing injections and what transpired shortly after:

• 2 hrs post injection-  I experience a strong urge to get to bed, unaware that my body was subconsciously preparing my torso to keep my violent Captain America baby from escaping via belly button during his bulging transformation.  

• 2.5 hrs post injection- I've been pregnant 4 times.  I've experienced strong kicks.  Kicks that hit under your rib cage.  Kicks that threaten to burst your bladder.  Kicks that sorta hurt...   So allow me the credibility to tell you that the "kicks"  "punches"   "jerks"   and  "squirms"  I felt last night were like nothing I've even experienced during pregnancy or even while trying to hold down kicking, screaming and scared 3 years olds at a doctor's office.   But that's as close of an analogy I can offer, except there was no layer of skin and fat to protect my inner organs. 

• 3 hrs post injection-  I curl up in bed fighting intense nauseous and suppressing a constant urge to vomit with each progressive blow inside my womb.  My body tenses up and contractions start wrapping around from my back to my uterus.

Uh oh

• 3.5 hrs post injection- Contractions are 3-5 minutes apart.  Yes, that is close. 

I'm 30 weeks and 4 days, we're not actually prepared that I could seriously have him THIS early.

• 4 hrs post injection- I realize we might need to pack a bag, so I decide to get up and grab a few things.  As I start walking around my contractions actually slow down...   back to 7 minutes in between.... less intense and Mr. Roid Rage starts moving less and less violently.  

• 5 hrs post injection-  I'm back in bed lying in one specific position that seems to somewhat tame persistent Mr. RR's blows.  

• 5.5 hrs post injection-  I'm managing the movement, feeling a little calmer and contractions are now 10 minutes apart... 11 minutes... 15 minutes.... was that a contraction?  I think so... I just need to close my eyes and relax.... to see...  if.... they.....ease up...... I should probably pray huh....  let me just pray a little.... 

3:30am 

I jolt awake and realize it's all stopped.  The baby is still and I have fallen asleep. 

Peace.  Thankfulness.  Reality.  

He gives me a soft nudge to tell me he's ok and I just laid their awake the rest of the night thinking of how good it's going to feel to finally snuggle his sweet gigantic muscles against my chest when this is all over and I can be sure he is perfectly ok.  

But for the love, let's please just wait 6-10 more weeks before we do that ok Little Super Hero??  

For now, you are right where you need to be and I'm so relieved it still hasn't hit me that I hardly slept last night at all.   Stay in the bat cave little man, your brothers are plenty to keep this crazy world on it's toes until you arrive!

Weekend update

The baby factory was quite the happening place of excitement this weekend with a visit from Grandma and Grandpa!

Sebastian had the creative idea to kick off the festivities with a "Thirsty Thursday" pre-party during the delicately frantic moments before I had to leave the house alone with the boys for the first time in a few weeks to pick up Grandma and Grandpa from the airport.

You'll have to use your imagination for this one and forgive me for my inability to race for a camera to properly document the moment I realized my darling little 22 month old angel son had managed to climb on top of our kitchen counter to my freshly opened can of diet coke and not only pour it all over himself but also fling it around in the air until he successfully coated our entire kitchen in sticky, dark liquid.  Did I mention that stuff somehow reached every single tiny undiscovered inch of our kitchen?


Go ahead, finish laughing.


I would too if I weren't the bed resty soul working against the clock of extreme airport pick up lateness while struggling to clean up the splattered mess and making sure the boys didn't do further damage.


Yes, yes, of course I realize this was exactly what I deserve for drinking such fake-sugared, caffeinated poison while pregnant.


Thank you, I am quite aware I shouldn't leave him alone in the kitchen.


Naturally, I should be more cautious not to leave an opened can of anything 5 feet above the floor in case a daring young toddler should wonder into the room unattended.


You are quite right, just because a small child usually follows me out to the garage doesn't mean I shouldn't try to see for certain that he is by somehow peeking over the ridiculous mound of things I'm carrying in an attempt to minimize my back and forth trips all to protect my vulnerable unborn baby in utero.


No, really, I do agree, this is pretty funny!  And I won't even stop there, there's more train o' chaos ahead I promise!


Once both boys were in decently appearing, non-soda drenched clothes, securely tied down to their car seats with the windows rolled up to mask their screaming protests, I was wiping the sweat from my brow and ready to drive as unsafely as possible to get to the airport early enough to still make it back before I had to pick Sienna up from school...


But, wait, the garage door is somehow stuck open.


Lovely.


Now what?  Could I be any later to pick them up??


Well, even if I cave to my panic and call his parents begging them to just take a million dollar cab all the way to our house I still couldn't exactly leave our garage door open for 6 hours until Daddy gets home.


So, I did the only reasonable thing possible in my current state.


I miraculously managed to pull the 300+ lbs garage door shut praying with all my heart and soul that it didn't fall on top of me.


What can I say, maybe the prior textbook parenting over-sight doesn't mean I can't have some part of super mom in me even it if is fiercely strong muscles that only manifest when invitations for breaking and entering are at stake???


Well, we survived with a great story to tell and it was all worth the drama to have Grandma and Grandpa here for a few days!


I don't think any of us wanted them to leave....

Which wasn't exactly the only reason I skipped out on the airport trip the second time just in case.  

Our favorite bed rest activities

Wrapping up week three of bed rest over at the baby growing factory!  Woot woot!

I never thought I'd survive the first few days, but here we are surviving three times that long and even having a little tiny bit fun here and there...

Shhhhh... don't tell anyone I'm not entirely miserable every second of this anymore... I mean it!   My reputation as a big baby is at stake here.

So what's it like so far?   Well, mostly stressful trying to rest with three   active   extremely active littles, but when it's not and we can manage to slow everyone down it's actually somewhat wonderful.

For example, after dinner most nights the boys will run around outside, which gives us girls quiet time to play bed rest together, which didn't take long to become my favorite time of day.  We cuddle up reading book after book until I sound like a muffled man from projecting my voice at an awkwardly reclined position.  When I can hardly talk anymore she'll sing songs to the baby and we watch him kick and kick at her.   He loves the sound of her voice!

Sometimes she'll let me practice new hair braids!   This is actually quite productive, since I started mothering a daughter with zero ability to make a decent french braid...

Ahem, I hope you notice that's not just a pig tail braid... yes, that would be a fancy fish tail... yes, yes, hold the applause.. I know, I did do that all by myself...  yes, only on the 6th try... I know, not to shabby a'tall now is it. 

Ok, fine, her hair still usually looks like Exhibit A  most days...

This is, by the way, the BEST part of bed rest so far!  

These motorized shopping carts are amazing! 

 I *had* to run to Target on Tuesday because I missed it so very much and couldn't bare the clearance items that were coming and going without me... I mean, because we really "needed" special Valentine's Day cards for Sienna's class.  What other options did we have when she cried upon realizing Daddy would just pick some out for her at the grocery store this week.  

Also, my Doctor's office is next to a Target, so it was really a justifiable outing in my opinion.  Besides, I walked all of 50 feet to the awesome motorized cart... come on now, I walk more than that wiping poopy bottoms all morning.   

Speaking of poopy bottoms... the boys visit me on the couch too.  I just have to wear full protective gear and a metal cage guarding my baby belly. 

Bash loves reading books with me too as long as I don't actually attempt to read the book.  He mostly prefers holding it and loudly pointing to all illustrations in his vocabulary. Which is fine by me, because it saves my voice for his many song requests that he ensures will be delivered at window shattering volumes by screaming along so loudly that he can't hear me singing unless I manage to mask his own voice.

Speaking of window piercing volumes... Jonah comes to visit too :)  

His patience for playing bed rest with me are limited to the time it takes to ask nicely to watch another Fireman Sam show...

We've been watching    a      w   h   o   l   e      l   o   t     of shows lately... 

But we're usually pretty over the top with our screen time restrictions, so we're telling ourselves that a whole lot to us is probably nothing compared to most children whose supposedly hindered brain development survives to pass kindergarten.

Plus, this is little guy only really likes shows for the quality snuggle time after naps.  

And I really do too :) 

Taking care of Mommy

Soooo I may have accidently over done it activity wise the past two days...

Shocker...

 

I know the odds would've never suggested that as a possiblity, but it looks like it happened...

But now, the difference is that after being on bed rest for almost two weeks my body is very quick to let me know if I'm pushing too hard in any way.  Even though I had help from amazing friends and my mom the past two days while Daddy was busy, there was more running around and hauling kids around town than the previous 8 solid bed resty days entailed.

Finally, the good ol' baby machine said ENOUGH and yesterday early afternoon I got sick and gave poor Sienna and probably my mom a bit of a scare.  (I'm much better now though and this baby is happily kicking around none the wiser to it all!)
 
So yesterday while I was in my dark room trying to get back on track Sienna was having her quiet time.  Apparently, during this time she snuck craft stuff into her room and made me these precious get better pictures with all the things she knew would pull me right through. She presented them to me with a refilled water bottle and our real thermometer to make sure I didn't have a temperature.   

Be still my heart!!!

She explained them in detail to be sure I had the full effect:

"Mommy, this is you holding a balloon or a lollipop which ever makes you feel best and standing by a beautiful rainbow.  You're also wearing a nice purple dress and I did your hair really pretty."

"This is a magical, rainbow unicorn who is standing in front a TV with your favorite movie on it!  You can watch both of them if you want to!   The top part yellow is sunshine from Mr. Golden Sun to show you how much Jesus loves you.  Then I wrote our names really nicely for you!  See!  Look at my "J" for Jonah!  That's also you driving wherever you want in our van."

 

"Ok, here are lots of swirls for you, because I know you think I do a good job making swirls."

 

"Do you feel all better Mom??" 

 

 

Yes, yes, I absolutely do in so many ways! 

It's Alive!

Warning: if you've never been pregnant or are uncomfortable with unfortunately (although temporarily) flattened pregnancy belly buttons, this might not be the video for your delicate eyes... 

 

Using our words wisely

Now that Sienna is in preschool her delicate little shelter bubble has sprung a teeny tiny leak into which all sorts of interesting influences are sneaking through...

Ok, ok, it's probably a good thing since I'm fully willing to admit I'm a bit extreme in some instances such as maybe being guilty of whiting out parts of our classic children books that use words I don't care for and writing in my substitution in case someone else is reading our books to her... 

I'm also possibly known to edit song lyrics with less traumatic outcomes like "the craddle will fall, but not little baby who wasn't in it at all!"   What kind of a irresponsible parent leaves her child in a craddle tied to a tree on a windy day and then sings and dances about her catastrophic fall? 


Back to my point... our Delicate Little Flower has been expanding her vocabulary at school recently!

Unfortunately, I'm not talking about SAT prep here...

For instance, she discovered that there is more than one way to refer to your "bottom" and along with one of her new terms comes the perk of that elongated "U" sound, which also provokes uproaring laughter from her brothers. 

She has also learned that "tooting" is not descriptive enough when referring to some of the music coming from Jonah... alas, she has learned identifiers far less polite than passing gas to announce aromatic secrets. 


All these might sound funny to anyone other than the this little girl's mother... but it doesn't stop with potty talk.  I'm indebted to one little classmate  who introduced Sienna to the "s-t-u-p-i-d" word within the first month of school... without the other child's boisterous remarks in class I would've put off this much needed talk a bit longer... 

"Mommy, Jane (identity protected) called me 'a stupid' today!!" - Sienna

 

"Oh my!!  What did you say to Jane??"  -Me

 

"I said, Jane, please don't use those words!  I've never heard my mommy use that word, so I don't think it's a good one to say!" - Sienna

 

----heart melting and cheeks bleeding from surpressing a huge smile--- me

 

"Mommy, we do NOT say words like that in this family do we?" -Sienna

 

"Nope, Sweetie, we don't, if you've never heard Mommy say a word it's probably a good idea not to say it either unless you talk to me first.  Those words don't sound very nice do they?  What do you think she was trying to say?"  - Me

 

"I think 'a stupid' means you don't want to be someone's friend."  -Sienna

 

"Well, I'm not sure it means that, I bet you'd be a really good friend for her!  And since we don't really know what it means, we probably shouldn't ever use words like that." -Me

So I wasn't prepared for that talk at the time... but not too bad on my part right??  

 

 

Fast forward a few months to today...

"Ugh!!  Ouchy!! OUCH! Mom!! Mom!"  -Sienna screaming

 

"It's ok, it's ok, what happened??!" -me

 

"Oh HATE!  I mean, oops, I shouldn't use a naughty word, but I accidently rocked over my own foot and it hurts so bad."  - Sienna. 

Do you think I should admit to using slightly naughtier words under similar circumstances?? 

Of course not!  She still thinks I'm perfect :)

For the record, I have heard the "h-a-t-e" word sneak out from her before and even sometimes in a correct context and she knows we don't use that word... again, maybe overly ridiculous on my part, but it's really a very strong word and "don't care for" is more than appropriate in all substitute-able instances :)  

So much better!

Yesterday was rough, but I'm thankful for the sweet encouragement, love and support I got to feel from all the perfect people.... Some totally unexpected and some always there to say exactly what I need to hear!

Most of all, I'm so thankful for Daddy who listened with all the sympathy he has (that says a lot!) and cleaned up the remaining disastrous mess without a single word of complaint or comment until everything was perfectly back in order all before I even got back from picking up my progesterone treatment.

Now if it wasn't enough to send me to bed with a full and hopeful heart again, I woke up this morning to big plans for the three littles and their Daddy to be out all day exploring airplanes that fought in real wars and then bowling and then even getting to eating out!

Meanwhile, I got to stay home peacefully in bed getting to see what my doctor's idea of bed rest is really like.... and let me tell you, I think I could get used to this cozy snuggling just me and my little kickster all morning long!