WARNING: This post is not for motherly audiences. Apparent Tales is not responsible for loss of breath, heart palpitations or any emotional damage experienced as a result of viewing the contents of this post. At least one mother was found shaking, sweating and clinging to her smaller children not far from the location where these dangerous adventures took place. This may happen to you if you try this at home.
Our sister and brother in-laws' house just outside of Portland, Oregon is becoming quite the anticipated gathering spot by everyone in the family. It's on a few acres that back up to the forest and they have tons and I mean tons of really fun stuff to do for outdoorsmen big and small. I had been pumping up the kids for weeks about their huge chicken coop, Aunt Danielle's garden the size of grocery stores and thick forest we could go exploring in. Did you notice I never once included their homemade 50 ft long and 30 ft high zip line?
Unfortunately, the more adventurous member of this marriage who thought that allowing our 5 year old daughter to go on this aforementioned scary, dangerous and manmade zip line certainly had.
! ! ! ! !
Did you just pee a little watching this video?
It's ok, happens to even the best of the kegelers 'round here.
Don't worry. I did not go down on this one without a fight. I was mad. I huffed. I puffed. I begged, pleaded and cried a little not to let her go until she was at least 18.
But I rarely get my way when it comes to outdoor adventures. Plus, I'm a notorious wimp and am so terrified of heights that my leg starts the standing shake when I even watch someone climb up high heights (like a 3 food ladder, I'm not joking.) Daddy is the bravest of the brave, the adventurousist of the adventurers and also the wisest of the wise. He knows that Uncle Greg has lots of engineer friends and that this zip line wasn't your average home job. Plus, Daddy has had all sorts of survival, rock climbing, belaying, outdoor adventuring certifications, so he does know these things.
He and every one else I previously considered reasonable and sane assured me that it was completely 100% safe.
So I held on tight to the boys (who were DEFINITELY not going), did a few ring around the rosaries for dear life and watched our beloved Enna do her first "Zippy."
Except we didn't just watch. We watched with wide, excited eyes and then some of us begged to go next.
Before I could convince him that he might die or grow extra limbs out of his forehead or even turn into a bunny rabbit if he dared to go, Daddy had him suited up and dangling by his side.
Now poor Jonah takes after his mother on this one...
And in this case, I couldn't be prouder watching him bear hug Daddy for dear life! Atta boy!! Safety first, fun second!
The way things were going I quickly grabbed Bash and bribed him with unpicked blackberry bushes as far away from the zip line as our wobbly legs would take us....
Thank God Daddy didn't hear him whispering "Bash do thippy? Bashy's turn do thippy?"
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