Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Behind the scenes of the 1st day

After all the darling back to school pictures flooding my addictions social media new feeds I got to thinking...  Forgive my bias here, but I think I had quite the adorable back to school picture for social media my adult show and tell expo.  But what I didn't show or tell is the not-cute-in-any-way story leading up to the 3 minutes surrounding my picture perfect pictures.

Why didn't I?  This blog is to document my apparent tales through raises this busy family.  If all I share is the good stuff then I might as well call it Ideal Tales.  Or something not punny.  And that wouldn't be me.

So let me share what our first day back to school morning went like in it's entirety.... buckle up, folks.

3:15am-  When I laid my head down for the 3rd time since "going to bed" for what I hoped to be my longest stretch of sleep before waking up.

5:45am-  Not too shabby, but Dear Jonah, perhaps you'd like to spend some time with your favorite monthly subscribed streaming babysitter until Mommy's eyes stop twitching?

7:00am- Now that we've wasted our screen time quota for the day and I haven't even made breakfast yet... I better stop lying around starring at this adorably squishy baby in my arms.  I half-stumbled down the stairs with a forced smile on my face and a freshly nursed Sam drooling down my arms.  Today is a special day for Jonah.  Be happy.  Be playful.  Be loving.  Be P-A-T-I-E-N-T.

7:15am-  Feeling awake!   The smiling got the best of me.  It's gonna be a fun day!  Jonah will be at school for a few hours.  Just one toddler boy to manage.  Maybe I'll even run errands with the lighter crew?  Possibilities are endless!

7:30am-  Home cooked breakfast.  Starting off the school year right!   Is anyone watching?  I'm so rocking this!

7:45 am- Jonah woofed down his boobery pancakes before I could make a spectacle of myself again with all my first day of school cheerleading and what not.   Before I could ask if he wanted more he was off to intensely play with his legos far away from his overly enthusiastic mother.  I wonder if he wakes up so early on purpose to get the groggy, less excited version of me?

Meanwhile, around 8ish let's say, Bash woke up screaming and flying with fever.   Since he wanted nothing but "Up" all morning, I spent the rest of Jonah's time home carrying around at least one, but usually two small children.

2 seconds away from a nervous break down am-  Which also occurred around 8:45, I decided that listening to the synchronized crying was less stressful than wearing one baby in a carrier while also holding a drippy, snotty, whining, feverish 2 year old on my hip.

As I put everyone who was now making my morning sweaty and miserable down on my bed I caught a glance at the clock just in time to realize Jonah needed to be dressed and waiting for the bus in 13 minutes.   That's totally enough time to get myself dressed, brush 96 teeth, get everyone else including Jonah (who never wants to do anything when I'm in a hurry) dressed and rotate the laundry right?    

Possibly with normal human beings.   But definitely not with strong willed, defiant toddlers.   I'll skip the gory details of flailing legs, ear piercing screams, chases around the house and cut straight to a gentle prayer I offered to our Lord to put us back on track...  

Deep breath.

The crying is only in my imagination.

The house is a disaster, but nothing is permanently broken yet.


One more deep breath.  

"Dear Lord, I need you.  I am a little- JONAH!  I SAID COME HERE!  overwhelmed and I really need this to all go smoo- I SAID COME NOW! TAKE YOUR PJS OFF! go smoothly.  Please, help the kids jus- THAT'S IT!  You're going to miss the bus!  I asked you to take off your pjs and now I am going to do it for you!  Dang it!  I mean, that wasn't for you, God.  Just please help the kids stop fighting with each other just get dressed quickly for me. I really need to take some pictures of Jonah before he leaves for his first day of school ever, if it's Your will and all, and I don't want to say goodbye to Jonah so angry. I'm asking for the graces to-  I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T LIKE THESE SHOES!  YOU ARE WEARING THESE SHOES!  Ugh, Amen!"   

Yep.  You are welcome to pray with me any time.  I'm also available for motivational speaking. 

Fortunately, God likes to help me out even if I can't manage to ask very nicely and everyone was dressed on time, except me.  But at least I am still nursing 'round the clock and was wearing a bra from the night before, which came in handy as I ran after the school bus in my pajamas, unbrushed bed head, cereal flavored morning breath and bare feet.  

I keep it classy when I'm stressed.

9:21 am - Jonah was on the bus and on his way.

9:21:30 am-  Now what?

9:22 am-  We all sorta stumble back inside, sit as close as humanly possible on the couch and stare at the wall.

9:25 am-  The phone rings.  Daddy wants to know how Jonah got off to school.

And just like that every thing you just read fled from my short term memory and all I said was:

"Ohmygoodness Babe!  He was so excited!  You'll never guess what he want's to be when he grows up?!  He's the cutest thing ever!  I actually already miss him!! I wish you could've been here!"

Yup, just like that.  And that is probably why no one shares about the hours leading up to the one picture perfect moment.  We're mothers.  We forget the bad and lovingly hold onto all the good.   At the end of the day even all this is part of the good.  It's stressful.  It's chaotic.  It doesn't go as planned. But it's everything I've ever wanted.

Annnnnd,  I'm back to report that Overly Tired From School Jonah just woke up from peeing my bed.  Since this post is about being transparent and all...  

Note to self:  get Jonah to start napping on daddy's side. 

1 comment:

  1. Always nice to know that I am not the only one who ends up with cereal flavored morning breath.